Welcome to the Jungle (Redux)

C|Net and Univision have created a new technology channel for Spanish speakers. Good news... but when you hear Natali del Conte (former Techcrunch writer) speaking like a speech synthesizer, I wonder myself if they couldn't find another person with a better spanish.

Via Techchrunch

I hate all the articules predicting what will be cool in the new year. Ok, here goes my 5 stupid predictions for 2008. I have not analyzed markets, trends or purchased expensive reports to Gartner, just like most writers, but at least I admit it. May be some predictions sounds a bit apocalyptic, but hey! they are mine and I can do whatever I want with them!

1. Java will die in 2008 and all the companies using it will be destroyed: Java dies every year as everybody knows. And in 2008 it will die too. But this year is different, because if you are a company using Java, The Gipsy Ruby on Rails Community (aka Gipsy on Rails) will curse you. To break this curse the CEO will have to drink the blood of ten virgins of your Human Resources department. I know, your company is doomed for sure.
   
2. Apple will catch the female market with iDildo: Steve Jobs knows Apple is a company for males with problems because of the (small) size of their dicks and so he builds gadgets to increase their selfsteem. Due to the fact that penis enlargers manufacturing are controlled by email spammers, the only way to satisfy geek female partners is with the new iDildo. There were some delays because the very long period of testing by the female QA team of Apple, and their rejection to return the device. The iDildo will connect to iTunes to download themes like 'Latino lover', 'Nigerian oh-my-god!' and 'NFL team'.
   
3. Zed will empty his AK-47 on all the Rails scum: Finally it will happen. Zed will listen The Voices in his head and will clean the Rails community of the scum. It seems the task will take longer than one year due to the amount of scum to clean. Meanwhile some rats will escape to the Scala community and won't fight against Zed like men should do!
   
4. Google Artificial Intelligence will take control of the company and will terminate with Sergey and Larry: Google AI will consider how stupid beings based on carbon are and will decide to terminate with their Creators, Sergey and Larry. They will be replaced by two Google Androids and nobody will realize of it because still there is not a single existing Google Android device.
   
5. Microsoft will enter in the Operating Systems Market: After several years of failure trying to produce an Operating System, Microsoft will finally launch the final version of the operating system they have working on for 25 years. After these period of beta testing, they think that the new Microsoft Ubuntu will be the killer app that will make them a respected company.
   

There was a time when DBAs dictate how developers should use Their databases. It was early and mid-nineties and Their Word was The Truth. Those poor guys building client-server applications had to bow down before Him/Her and implement the Business Logic inside The Database Manager. Database hardware was expensive, but His/Her Highness could size the system easily because the number of clients connected was predictable. And that's what the IT Manager wanted; predictable figures.

Late nineties came and Web Application started to rule. Suddenly, the number of clients were unpredictable, the behaviour of the applications was radically different and for the first time in years, the DBMS was the bottleneck and The Master of the Data did not realize on time. So He/She asked to the IT Manager for better and bigger hardware.

IT Manager: Will it fix the performance problems?
DBA: We don't know, it depends on the number of clients on peak, the number of users in the critical path, the TV ads campaigns with the URL of the company...
IT Manager: So the bottleneck is the database?
DBA: Yes, the Web servers are almost idle...
IT Manager: Idle? My god! Can they do anything to relief the database?
DBA: Well, we can try move some business logic out to the application layer. If those lazy and hairy web developers could write good SQL...

And then a new trend started: move out of the database as much business logic as possible. The web developers started to code the SQL inside the application to relief the database.

The DBAs were upset, because these web developers coded really poor SQL and they don't even know about triggers, functions or views that could reduce the size or complexity of some of the statements. And they had to get involved in development almost like a Quality Assurance Team, rejecting poor SQL or aggressive tasks against the RDBMS. That was really disgusting!

By nature Good Developers are lazy. Writing SQL was like a pain in the ass, and wrapping the results in object models took a lot of time. The laziest of them all started to write little applications to create automatically the SQL and the code to return the results as object models. These little tools became in Object-Relational Mapping libraries. The Technical Leads explained to the IT Managers how they could save time using them, and the IT Manager was happy because he could show to the CFO and CEO that they were doing something to make that lazy web developers productive.

Then the nightmare of DBA started.

The DBA realized that the number of queries to the databases were increasing, and the complexity of the query was lower. A lot of simple queries... What's going on here? Sounds like a new intern writing crappy code...

DBA: Hi, is there a new intern in the team writing crappy SQL?
Development Lead: No, we don't have new people. What is going on?
DBA: Then somebody of your team is writing really poor code. I can see tons of queries as simple as a line of SQL!
Development Lead: Ah yes! That's the new ORM library we are using!
DBA: Well, that library is rubbish. It generates tons of shitty SQL. Ask the reseller to give your money back ;-)
Development Lead: No, it's opensource and free. And I see a lot of advantages using it. I think we should discuss it with the IT Manager.

IT Manager: Why this tool writes crappy SQL?
Development Lead: It does not write poor SQL. It creates simple queries, that's all. We can configure it to create more complex SQL, but sometimes the number of objects explodes and the application run out of memory.
DBAs: Why don't you use the already created Views?
Dev Lead: We cannot map Views to objects.
DBAs: So you are not going to use views anymore?
Dev Lead: If we can avoid them, yes.
DBAs: No views!? How am I going to optimize your complex queries?
Dev Lead: Well, we are not going to write complex SQL anymore. The ORM will do.
DBAs: And what about triggers and stored procedures?
Dev Lead: Out. Triggers and ORM does not match very well because it's hard to keep under control the changes performed in the DBMS. And Stored Procedures sucks, we have Java.
IT Manager: So, if there is no views, triggers and stored procedures, the DBAs can set your focus on keeping the system healthy and optimized, but not coding processes. Right?
DBAs: Errr... that's not exactly right...
IT Manager: And we can also transfer all these development tasks to the development team. Right?
DBAs: Correct, but...
IT Manager: And if the DBMS has no heavy processes inside, we can save some bucks in hardware, isn't?
DBAs: Probably yes, but if I don't track what is going on in the database system the system can die!
IT Manager: Of course! And that's what you are suppossed to do from now on. Help the development team to optimize how the ORM tools and libraries performs before going live.

Then the DBA role changed and became a slave of the ORM tools.

She could not recommend any more how to code the SQL code because it was an automatic process. And she saw how there was no gain in the performance because of the use of these ORM tools, even worse, she saw how the tuning of the database now was radically different due to the different characteristics of the SQL code. He thought that may be these new problems in the performance could make IT Manager to roll back to the old way, but it never happened. Actually, the IT Manager asked if it was necessary to have that very expensive Enterprise licenses if triggers, views and stored procedures were declining. Moreover, the application developers were implementing some smart caching strategies that really reduce the overhead in the database, saving millions to the company in hardware and licenses.

IT Manager: Should we try an opensource database?
DBA: Damn Gaving King...

Recently I have discovered TouchGraph, a tool that reveals the network of connectivity between websites, as reported by Google's database of related sites. I have tested it with this blog and the result is this:



The www.javablogs.com looks like this:

This tool can reveal how google see your website. Analyzing this information you can find out if your site is seen as a Java Blog or a Wireless network Blog, which is my case.

Marenostrum is installed inside Barcelona Supercomputing Center. The building used to be an old church! The pictures here.

I have interviewed a lot of developers, junior and senior staff and it has become like a routine. Technical workers are nice people, rude candidates are rare. Usually their (our) self-esteem make them (us) feel they need to show they (we) are over prepared for the job. The curriculum vitae are bloated with lots of technical buzzwords that most of the people have heard of, but can't barely talk about them.
I have compiled the list of events I can remember interviewing developers because they were funny, very funny:

This man had an impressive cv full of buzzwords, but he only worked in a single project.
Me: So you have been working with J2EE for 4 years, right?
Candidate #1: Right.
Me: What's your favourite IDE?
Candidate #1: What?
Me: What's your favourite IDE. I-D-E. (Since this is an English acronym, I try with a vague Spanish translation: 'Entorno de Desarrollo'.
Candidate #1: Ah, Eclipse.
Me: OK. Which version of Eclipse?
Candidate #1: The one for Java.
Me: Yes, but what version, release, etc...
Candidate #1: I don't know. The architect tells me to use Eclipse...
The guy knew all the buzzwords, but he did not even know what the hell they meant.

This one did not learn the acronyms very well..
Me: So you have been developing web applications with java for two years, right?
Candidate #2: Right.
Me: Are you using JSTL?
Candidate #2: Yes, of course!
Me: Well, some developers feel JSTL does not help a lot...
Candidate #2: I don't think web applications in java can be developed with servlets...
Me: Sorry, I don't understand.
Candidate #2: With JSTL Pages you can embed your HTML code easily. It's very hard to embed the code in Servlets.
JSTL sounds very similar to JSP in Spanish... but only similar.

This one was so pathetic...
Me: So you have been developing web applications for two years, right?
Candidate #3: Right.
Me: Which Application Server?
Candidate #3: Weblogic
Me: Excellent! A good understanding of BEA Weblogic is a plus. Which version of Weblogic?
Candidate #3: Version... 2
Me: ¿ 2 ? BEA Weblogic 2? Are you sure?
Candidate #3: Eeeehhh... Yes, Java Weblogic 2 Enterprise Edition.
Me: ... sorry, I think you don't have good coverage there, I can't here you very well... I will call you again ...
I was not brave enough to continue with the interview without laughing.


This women really had a bad time
Me: Your technical profile is excellent. As you know, spoken English is a must for this position.
Candidate #4: I know.
Me: Can you continue the interview in English?
Candidate #4: OK...
Me: (I looked at my notes for a couple of seconds, and then I heard something bumping on the floor. She was laying there!)
The woman lost consciousness for a few seconds. She told me she did not expect an interview in English. That's what I call a shocking question.

Architect by default
Me: So you are the architect of an enterprise class application for a Telco, right?
Candidate #5: Right.
Me: What app server are you using?
Candidate #5: Tomcat
Me: Which version of Tomcat?
Candidate #5: 1.4
Me: I see... 1.4, and which version of the JVM?
Candidate #5: 5
Me: Right, right... Are you sure?
Candidate #5: Sure.
Me: Why are you using Tomcat 1.4?
Candidate #5: Well... actually... the former architect chose it. I don't know why we use 1.4.
Me: Why are you using JVM 5, then?
Candidate #5: Well... actually... the former architect chose it. I don't know why we use 5.
Me: Look, there is no Tomcat 1.4, and in that Telco you can't use JVM 5. Please be honest.
Candidate #5: Well... actually... the project is a nightmare and all the developers have left the team. I have not found a new job yet, and in order to keep me in the project, I was appointed Lead Architect by the top management. But I'm just looking for a new job and escape from that hell.
Well, he was honest in the end.

And this is what happens when you interview a psycho
Me: So you have been working as HTML and ASP developer, right?
Candidate #666: Right.
Me: Can you tell what are your tasks in your current job.
Candidate #666: What do you mean?
Me: Just tell me what you are doing: what you develop, how, who is involved, technologies... it's just to start the conversation
Candidate #666: Conversation?
Me: Yes, I think you are a bit tense. Please relax. Take your time to explain me your job.
Candidate #666: I'm no tense, but I don't like your questions.
Me: But we have not started yet... Which IDE are you using to develop ASP pages?
Candidate #666: (silence, he starts to sweat)
Me: Are you using a Microsoft IDE...?
Candidate #666: (he starts to breath anxiously)
Me: (Now I tense up...) ...are you using Visual Interdev?
Candidate #666: (he stands up and look at me) I have not came here to be judged, I just came here to be interviewed.
And he left the room while I was shitting my pants.

If you are above thirties, do not visit chat rooms very often or English is not your mother tongue, then you probably waste most of the time trying to decipher that abbreviation lingo.

Here goes a brief dictionary of words.

According to their introductory speech, My Frienemies 'Myfrienemies is a social networking site that allows you to connect with people who pretend to like the same people as you. Rather than dwelling on the negative, we invite you to foster new friendships based on shared dislikes, annoyances and disappointments. '
The funniest link is frienemy of the week where you can read what people think of the person on this page: A Psycho, Depressive, User, Hostile-Aggressive, Liar, Drunk, Black hole, Paranoid. This girl. I cannot see what can make somebody the frienemy of the week, I hope it's not aggressive blogging against them...
And finally, the list of labels to tag your frienemies...
Black holes
Cheaters
Complainers
Depressives
Drunks
Hostile-Aggressives
Indecisives
Know-It-All-Experts
Lazys
Liars
Negativists
One Uppers
Paranoids
Pathological Liars
Psychos
Scenesters
Silent and Unresponsives
Soul Suckers
Super-Agreeables
Total Bores
Users

This social network thing is getting crazy.

I recently found a review of a new email application name 3D Mailbox. And that's what you think: an application to read your email in a tridimensional environment. Can sound stupid, but it looks even more stupid when you watch the trailer:



It's crystal clear that Venture Capital investors do not know what to do with their pockets full of money.

And no, it's not a joke.

Today an online Spanish newspaper congrats Isabel Aguilera (Google Spanish CEO) for not screwing up the purchase of DoubleClick by Google. Besides the sarcasm of the headlines, the newspaper says that the time of Isabel Aguilera in Google is running out, and she could leave the company very soon.
It's not a surprise that she will leave the company (the surprise is she has not been fired yet). Reading the profile and curricula of this women, I wonder myself if Google contracted the wrong headhunter.

I know this post has nothing to do with technology, except that my brother studied Electronic Engineering and later on decided to become a cinematographer director...

He has just finished a set of short films with some friends. You can watch them in Guris Guiris

Very funny indeed.

Fuckowsky has done it again: the funniest history about how Mr. Varsavsky will do it again, just like he did with Jazztel and Ya.com.

Read it here (spanish only).

I have been tracking FON for two years, and I'm a 'fonero' since last summer. Recently I read about the 'FON Liberator' project, and it seems that finally the mystery of FON is over. If you analyze seriously the business model of this company and you have some basic knowledge about wireless networks, you easily find that something does not match. The original FON business model (and I say original, because now it has changed) was 'share your bandwidth and you will have access to the enormous WiFi network of FON'. Once the network is deployed, then the company can bill non-Fon users to use the network. Mr. Varsavsky is really a smart guy, isn't it?

But this business model has serious technical restrictions:
1) The coverage of a standard WiFi hotspot is about 100m. So even in metropolitan areas, you need a FON member in every block!
2) Why people is going to share their network? People does not use WiFi hotspots every where, only really geek people and executives (and they use 3G connection because they can afford it).

FON trusted in WiMax to fix the first technical restriction: coverage. But WiMax is far from being available as the wireless connectivity for the masses, and may be the WiMax assumptions regarding coverage and deployment that I read in documents they published in FON web site about 18 months ago are not going to be implemented before 2009 or 2010.

So they need a short path to continue with the massive deployment of 802.11b/g hotspots: they need to motivate users to share their bandwidth. How?

80% of the Internet traffic in Europe comes from P2P networks. It means that a lot of people have a computer up and running 24 hours a day seven days a week sharing files with 'colleagues' all around the world. Whether this practice is legal or not it's not my business. It means that people have their personal computer stressed running this P2P software (Emule, Bittorrent, Azureus, MLDonkey...). What IF you have a specific device that can manage your shares in your P2P networks? You just plug in your 500Gb external USB 2.0 disk drive and voila! No more disturbing noise from fans, no more fear of fire, no more broken computers because of abnormal stress! FON will sell this device below their manufacturing price for 70€. The trade off? You will have to share your bandwidth with the FON community, of course. I guess this solution can be the killer app for the success of FON.

But is this something new? No, not at all. Basically, FON is going to sell a SBC (System Board Computer) router with a WiFi card and enough RAM memory to run a Linux (may be an embedded version of Debian) and some Flash for the OS and bootstrap. 64Megs of RAM and 64Megs Flash should be enough. And there are some commercial devices that have been modified to run something closer to the Fon Liberator. Here goes a list:

• Linksys NSLU2
• the Synology DS101
• the Iomega NAS100d
• the D-Link DSMG600
• the Buffalo Linkstation
  

You can find some cool stuff on how to flash custom built Linux distributions on these devices in http://www.nslu2-linux.org/ and http://www.linkstationwiki.net.

In my spare time (if you run a company and you have a one year old baby that's really short) I have built my own FON Liberator with the following hardware:

• A Soekris net4521 board, purchased to the European distributor.
• A Gigabyte GN-WIAG01, a cheap Atheros miniPCI card.
• A Conceptronic CSP480C2 PCMCIA 2 Ports USB 2.0 card.
• A Kingtson 512Mb Compact Flash.
• An external USB 80GB hard disk.
  

The total cost of this hardware is about 240€ (excluding the hard disk). Obviously, the FON Liberator will be cheaper!

I decided to use the Voyage Linux distribution because it's perfect for small systems, and it has a version for Soekris boards. It's based on Debian Etch, so it's very close to the official release. I have added the following software:

• Samba Server and SWAT console. So I can access my files from computers running windows.
• UShare as a UPnP media server. I can broadcast my media to my home devices.

I have also tried to install MLDonkey, an implementation of the Donkey protocol for Linux and it works. I just installed it for the purpose of study, later on I switched it off. This software is much better than any other P2P software on Linux, because it implements half a dozen P2P networks (bittorrent, overnet, kademlia and others).

I must admit that it works smoothly, but I have two problems:
1) I had to create a SWAP partition in the external drive to run ushare, samba and mldonkey.
2) Sometimes, when transferring files at maximum speed the system crashes. I don't know what the problem is, but seems to be a problem of the Conceptronic card.

And here goes a photo of the system...



And my Nokia 770 running Canola playing content as a UPnP client...



Once I have fixed the problem with the crash, I will buy a DLink DSM-320,



to play all my media files on my TV screen.

Cool, isn't it?

This is the best story I have read in years. This poor asshole was the communications director for U.S. Rep. Denny Rehberg, R-Mont tried to hire hackers to raise his recorded grade point average^[1].

Sounds like something that only could happen in a sit-com, not in real life.

... because they will help me to feed my sons.

This is what we found in a project we recently have taken over.

...
}
catch (NamingException e) {
if(e.toString().indexOf("AuthenticationException")>0) ko=true;
}

Trully amazing.